Untrustworthy Men

The biggest fear of my female clients is trusting men with their unconditional love.  It will happen, if it hasn’t already, to most of us in our lifetime.

Some cannot get past this betrayal and never fully recover.  I hear “I can’t go through that again” all the time.  People can betray us in numerous ways, whether it was a broken promise or divorce.  Some hurts cut us to the quick, others heal over time.

How can we protect our heart and not be deceived or be a doormat.  When you give your heart to another, can you really trust your intuition?

The first few months, there is this Euphoric State; a form of intoxication. Lots of chemistry, hopes and dreams.  Chemicals in our brain cloud your senses. But over time, reality sets in and if you really like this person and your values and morals are similar, that makes a very big difference.  But, if you are looking at the fantasy, then that’s what you will get a FANTASY,  and fantasies do not last!

Some give the appearance of being in a long-term  relationship, but in their heart one foot is always out the door in case something happens or someone more appealing to them come along.

The first year after the ticklish glow wears off, the relationship can come as a shock to some men.  Keep communicating, be patient and bond over something.

Don’t trust him right away, no matter how passionate you feel about him.  Allow for the distortion.  Recognize that you are seeing him on his best behavior.  Until this distortion has passed, don’t trust him with big things.  People get stuck in relationships, because resistance keeps them stuck.

You will know you are seeing him more realistically when you start to see the red flags (bad points) as well as the good.  He’s not perfect, neither are you.  You will not agree on everything and you will argue.  This may be when you feel like someone dumped a bucket of cold water over your head.  It’s a wake up call.  But, you can’t deny the truth forever!  You will become aware that you can trust him with some things, but not everything.

If he doesn’t respect you, don’t trust him.  Some guys will challenge you.  They may say if you really loved me your would trust me!  You must not love me if you are not going to trust me on this.  What a convincing argument and what a crock!  He’s manipulating  you and using your feelings to get a get out of jail free card.

Loving and trusting him are two different things.  Ask any parent, you love your children, but you arent’ going to trust them with matches!  A man who respects you will understand that.  He won’t pressure you and will understand trust takes time.

The more he respects you, the more you can trust him.  The less he respects you, the less he deserves your trust.

Love is a risky proposal, they are no guarantees in life.  When you love, you open yourself up to being hurt.  No one can determine the outcome.

Just remember, you can handle anything.  Give yourself permission to get hurt and accept the risks.  Trust yourself to be strong enough to handle anything.  Don’t forget to put yourself on a pedestal.  Remember, no man can complete you, his job is to complement you.